Having money talks with your partner

Let’s tackle a topic that’s often skirted around in relationships: money. It’s one of those subjects that can make even the most confident among us break into a sweat. But here’s the thing: avoiding the conversation won’t make financial issues disappear. In fact, it could do the exact opposite. Money can be a sensitive topic, but talking about money with your partner openly is important for a healthy and stable relationship.

When, what and how to ask

Find the right time and place

Choose a distraction-free environment where you can talk openly and honestly without interruptions. Having the ‘talk’ while one of you is in the middle of rushing a deadline wouldn’t be a good idea. Make sure you’re both very relaxed and are in the right headspace. Have a cup of coffee or maybe a glass of wine while talking as that can help to lighten the mood.

Come prepared

Reflect on your own financial situation beforehand. Prepare​ a guided list of questions about money habits, spending preferences, and future goals to stimulate the conversation.

Take a look at some of the questions to ask when having a conversation about money with your partner:

How are we going to pay the bills?

When you move in together eventually, there are going to be bills such as electricity, water, Wi-Fi, home loan repayment, home insurance and more. So, how are you going to split this? Is it based on each individual’s income or it’s going to be 50/50?

Do we want to join finances or keep it independent?

Joining finances will make it easier to reach a shared goal, such as travel plans or buying a house together. ​However, some couples still prefer to keep their finances separate where both parties pay for their own bills.

How much do you spend and save every month?

If your partner follows the 50/30/20 rule, it shows that your partner’s finances are healthy. However, if they live paycheck to paycheck every month, it’s good to have a discussion with them and see how you both can work on this together.

Is there anyone who is dependent on you?

Are they financially supporting a family member¹ or someone close to them? Take this into consideration when you do financial planning together in the future as this might delay your financial goals or reduce the budget you can spend each month.

Do we plan to have kids?

If you do, then you have to make sure that you’re both working financially towards a fund for your children in the future.

There are several ways to manage your finances with your partner, and there is no right or wrong in this. One method may work for a lot of couples, but another method could be better for you. So, as long as it works for your relationship, go for it.

Understanding your money styles

Know your money personalities

Are you a saver or a spender? Do you prioritise experiences or material possessions? Recognising your individual styles (e.g., minimalistic vs. occasional indulgence, hawker centres vs. fine dining) can help bridge potential gaps.

Respect and compromise

Acknowledge and respect your differences. Communication and willingness to compromise are essential for finding common ground and creating a financial plan that works for both of you.

Shared goals

Look for areas where your financial aspirations align. Do you both dream of travelling the world? Saving for a home? Identifying shared goals can help you motivate each other and work towards them as a team.

Be honest and open with one another

There is an importance in financial transparency within a relationship because you need to take into consideration of all the factors before you can start the financial planning.

Transparency matters

Share your income, expenses, debts, and financial obligations openly. This includes student loans, retirement plans, and any existing commitments.

Budgeting together

Collaboratively create a budget that reflects your individual and joint spending goals. ​Use tools and apps to simplify the process and track progress.

Joint bank account

Consider the pros and cons of having a shared bank account for joint expenses, while also maintaining individual accounts for personal spending. Find a system that works best for both of you.

Open communication

Discuss major financial decisions together, like large purchases or investments. Share concerns and work towards solutions that align with your shared goals.

When to review?

Regular check-ins

Schedule regular financial discussions to review your budget, celebrate progress, and adjust strategies as needed.

Celebrate achievements

Reinforce positive financial habits by acknowledging and celebrating shared successes, like reaching savings goals or debt milestones.

Seek professional help from a financial advisor

Don’t hesitate to seek guidance from a financial advisor if needed. They can offer tailored advice and help you navigate complex financial decisions confidently.

Ultimately, honesty is the best policy even when it comes to conversations revolving around finance. As both of you share openly about your views and habits, you will better know and understand each other and be in a better place to make a more informed, collective decision in terms of your saving and spending habits.