How living with a giant tumour changed my view on life

“It won’t happen to me” – that’s what many people seem to think when it comes to cancer. But, as statistics have consistently shown, cancer is more common than you think. And it can affect even the young and healthy, as was the case with 29-year personal trainer Bryan Goh. Here, he shares about his battle against the dreaded C-disease and how it taught him to treasure each moment of his life.

It all started when what seemed like a sports-related injury turned into something that I would have to live with for the rest of my life.

I was 25 – living my best life as a personal trainer with a pool of loyal clients that I had painstakingly built from the ground up.

Nothing feared me, not in my wildest imagination did I even think that something could happen someday and change everything. Until it did.

When disbelief turns into dismay

It was September 2017 when I experienced a sharp pain in my left knee.

Doctors and medical practitioners suggested that I was probably overworked. Perhaps they were right. After all, working as a personal trainer wasn’t exactly the easiest.

So I didn’t think too much about it, at least not for the next few months.

But the pain kept getting worse and in November, I was given the harsh prognosis that a cancerous cell tumour had somehow made its way into my bone. And I needed immediate surgery.

I was in disbelief. How could someone with such a healthy lifestyle (I don’t drink nor smoke, exercised regularly, and  watched what I eat!) have cancer?

Feeling helpless, I called my mother and we spent a good few minutes crying.

The good but not-so-good news

Surgery was my only option. In just two days, I went from being in my prime to the lowest I had ever been – I had to transfer my list of clients to my colleagues due to my inability to work and on top of that spend a good bulk of my savings on the medical treatment.  Above all else,  I had accept that I was no longer as “strong” as before.

But here’s the proverbial silver lining – what I had wasn’t cancer – or at least, not yet.

But even with my tumour being re-diagnosed as a form of benign but aggressive condition, I found it hard to be happy as this only meant that my battle against cancer was far from over.

In fact, this only meant that I would have to live with the uncertainty of not knowing if and when cancer could strike ‘again’.

Third time’s (not necessarily) a charm

With the first cancer scare out of the way, I was determined to get back to my ‘normal’ life.

But my world came crumbling down again in 2018 when the familiar pain returned and I was immediately wheeled in for a second surgery.

The tumour turned out to be benign (again, thankfully!) but still, everything I had rebuilt since my first health scare was taken away from me overnight – my health, new clients and even a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to further my career overseas were gone just like that.

I’m never one to complain when life deals me a bad hand. But this time, I couldn’t help but think about the financial hit I was going to take as a result of this second cancer scare.

In fact, the cost of treatment was what put me off chemotherapy the first time. Whether my decision then had a part to play in the recurrence of my condition is something I will never know,

Fast forward to a year later, my tumour returned again for the third time after I had turned 27.

This time, it had spread even further to my muscles and nerves, forcing me into another surgery and an even longer break from work due to its severity.

Working as a freelance personal trainer, this took a toll on my finances as I had to take a total of 12 months off work to deal with my health episodes.

The ‘real’ good news

As cliched as it sounds, the three scares I had made me realise something important: that prioritising my health wasn’t just about exercising regularly and eating healthily; it is also about protecting myself financially.

Trust me when I say that I never once thought that anything like this would happen to me.

In fact, cancer had always seemed like something from the movies, until I had it.

Thinking back now, if my mother had indeed cancelled my insurance plans because I  did not want to “pay for something I wouldn’t need”, I would have been in more dire straits.

(Turns out she didn’t cancel them but continued paying on my behalf, thanks mom!)

My life now

I’m currently undergoing my final few months of chemotherapy while resuming my work as a personal trainer at Fitness First.

From  being a “chiong-ster” (someone who pushes themselves without thinking too much about the consequences), I’m starting to seriously prioritise my health and well-being while also taking steps to plan for my future.

There are things that I can no longer do, likely demonstrating certain exercises to my clients, pursuing the Ironman race, going for a simple run or even making travel plans in advance, but I am happy to simply be where I am today.

And if there is one piece of advice I can give to anyone reading this, it is this: treasure every good moment you still have, while protecting yourself financially from the uncertainty of cancer and other dreaded diseases because you’ll never be certain of what tomorrow holds. Trust me, I know.

Regards,

Bryan Goh

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